It Means a Lot to Have You Here



Thanksgiving table at my parents' house, Nov. 2010




















            You’ve probably read about the studies showing that teenagers who sit down with their parents to eat dinner on a regular basis have better grades and are less likely to have problems with drugs and alcohol.  Well, I don’t know about that, but I do think there is something special that happens when families gather around the table for a meal together.  Especially when visitors are asked to join them – whether they be relatives, friends or new acquaintances.  At a time when so many of us eat our meals on the go – stopping quickly at drive-thrus or eating in front of the TV, gathering around the table with loved ones is a ritual that I hope we can hold on to.

I can remember many meals growing up when my parents invited others to join us.  Sometimes they made a special effort to include a man whose wife had recently passed away, or a couple who was new to town and needed to feel welcomed.  Mom had her usual good dishes – either beef stroganoff or chicken with wild rice –and I always looked forward to a special dessert at the end!  My parents were gracious hosts. There was something special that happened when the white tablecloth came out and the silver was polished.

Of course, the ordinary meals are just as important when families sit down to share the events of the day with each other, and, hopefully, have a good laugh or two (and once in a while, a good quarrel). For my husband and me, this has been an important time to be with our nine-year-old daughter, as we listen to her opinions and ideas about life, and hopefully teach her by example how to carry on a conversation where everyone is included and heard. We also enjoy inviting others to join us, though we don’t do it nearly as frequently as my folks did.  But when it seems easier to take our company out for a quick bite, I try my best to make sure that we have at least one meal at our table with them, as if to say – welcome to our home, our family, and our food – it means a lot to have you here.

For life is what you make it.  So make it good!

For more on this topic, I recommend these books:

            The Surprising Power of Family Meals by Miriam Weinstein

            Come to the Table: A Celebration of Family Life by Doris Christopher

Three Principles to Live By

These red and pink blooms stand proudly in my front yard.  Yeah, Spring!

          Many of you know that I’ve been teaching writing at the college level for most of my adult career.  While I have no interest in pushing my personal religion or politics on my students, I do sometimes think about what messages I would like to pass on to them about the things I value in life – beyond grammar and good essay structure!  I’ve come to the conclusion that if I would give them any personal advice, it would come down to these three things:

1)      Connect with your Creator.

2)      Get to know people that are different from you.

3)      Do something important in life.

• Connect with your Creator:  People do this in many different ways, but I do believe that there is a Creative Being behind this world we live in, a being who wishes to relate to us in a way that feeds our soul, helping us to become whole people.  I believe that we all have a spiritual hunger to understand our purpose here on this earth and relate to a God who loves us deeply.
• Get to know people that are different from you. It’s easy to find ourselves relating only to those who are similar to us – same skin color, culture, social class, religion, age, etc. But we’re missing out!  My life has been so enriched when I’ve had the opportunity to meet people of other cultures, beliefs and economic classes.  It has widened my worldview and although those differences might make us feel uncomfortable at times, it’s always worth it.  I treasure the chance to know people from many different worlds.
• Do something important in your life. By this I don’t mean winning the Super Bowl or the Nobel Peace Prize.  Nor do we all need to join the Peace Corp or become social workers!  Great movements start with the individual.  If we don’t feel like our jobs necessarily contribute to “the greater good,” than I think it’s important that we each do something we feel makes a difference.  It may be reading to at-risk kids, visiting an elderly friend, going on a service trip – basically using our talents and skills to make the world a better place.

For life is what you make it.  So make it good!