The Power of Forgiveness



A beautiful lotus flower at Botanica: The Wichita Gardens

 
















By the time we are adults, we all know what it’s like to be hurt or offended.  Sometimes people do it to us intentionally; often people do it to us without even realizing it.  We hurt, then get angry, then resentful, even bitter.  We can hold onto that grudge for a long time as it festers and grows.  Hopefully we all know that learning to forgive not only lightens the load of resentment we’ve been carrying around, but it also can help heal us and allow us to move forward.

A question I always have is this:  Is it enough to forgive, or do we have to forget too?  It seems that it’s necessary to release our anger to move on, but in order to protect ourselves from being hurt again, we need to remember the situation, not constantly, but keep it in the back of our minds so that we don’t get hurt again. Yet can we let go if we still remember?

Also, do we need to confront the person who has hurt us, or can we just forgive them in our minds?  Sometimes the person isn’t available, but even if they are, it can bring up more trouble than it’s worth.  What if they don’t agree with our perspective on the situation?  What if the confrontation hurts us even more?  It seems like each case is different.  Would it help our relationship with that person if we confront them?  Or would it make it even more fragile?

In the end, though, we need to remind ourselves that the person who is able to forgive shows strength; conversely, the person who refuses to let go of their resentment is the weaker one.  It’s hard to forgive others, but in the end it’s what frees us to move forward.

I was inspired to write on this topic after watching a music video by Chris August, entitled “7 X 70.”  He writes about how he felt abandoned by his parents when he was little and was finally able to forgive them in his heart.  The title refers to Jesus' response to a disciple who asked: “If I am wronged by someone seven times, do I have to forgive them seven times?”  And Jesus replied: “You should forgive him 7 X 70 times.”

You can view this video by clicking on this link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n5-Q1zAhqpA&ob=av2e

For life is what you make it.  So make it good!